Youre my feet when i cant move on

20070131

fuzzy wuzzy

retail theraphy like what they all say.
belt from fareast
one darkgold + black chain from fareast
top from zara
top from pull and bear
flip flops
and its not even the start of the month, my money is gone.

today, somebody msged this to me.
"fuzzy wuzzy likes * but not me,
so does janis"
and yes, i am affected :S
oh well...

i had family dinner on monday and today, and i am really happy :D i wish i could have these days more. when i can come home early often and have dinner w my parents and sister.
maybe after i decide on it, ill have more free time.

9:35 PM

sigh

its not about having low-self esteem.
but its for the very fact that, all of you look at me with this in your head.
"janis has fallen so darn badly she cant help out anymore"
"look janis, im higher up than you"
and.
"i am helping someone now"
"pay the cash"
or its like some addition pple to your group like some competition.

sometimes i really dont know who to trust.
ugh.

djs...
i wish i was a little closer to the both of you.
sorry i was not there.

omg. im really miss emo kiddo.
im going to make that decision and not regret it.

1:30 AM

20070128

false concerns?

leave everything of 06 and move into 07..
everything.
good and bad memories.
yes, good memories too because they come along with the bad.
its all hand in hand.

to be emotionally strong.
means that you have control over every aspect of your life, emotions.
which also means.
you can have the control whether you want to/dont want to fall for a person.
wah then i dont think im that strong after all
"do you know why you always fall for the wrong person?"
honestly. i dont want to know why.

and so, its okay if im not ever going to be a good volleyball player with all skills and talents, im just going to learn how to be a positive player.

12:26 AM

20070125

neveda

okay im like having VB now, ahhh screw computing. bluek.
hmmm im this screwed by during computing classes cause im looking at my thousand over pictures in the states over again. reminisicing the taste of liberty like, for real.
sighhhhh *haha its a good sigh yeh.

okay now i cant wait to go bali with my friends (:
haha all my life im just waiting for holiday after holiday.
when i grow up, im going to save and travel around the world.
bringing along w me the old folks of course.

today i was so late for school was kinda !@#$%^&*( initially until i saw this FAT FLUFFY sparrow. cause it was super cold, so i think its feathers sort of sized up for warmth?
HAHA.
made me happy leh(:

"all i desire a heart after You.."
--> and i really do, why is the heart so hard..?

why are you always so beautiful?

3:02 PM

20070123

pee pee! you lost that point

theres a very fine line between,
1)giving up
2)letting it go because you are just not good at it altogether no matter how hard you try

rah.
i dont want to be upset about not being able to perform anymore, just be happy and play ball like what they all tell me.

sometimes bad esteem gets the better of me bluek when your 2bestfriends are always slightly better than you, in studies and in sports. ogay get along janis leong.

going to accompany rena for her volleyball westzone refereeing with joyci laters which means im gonna go out of school which means im going to leave class early.
im so sick of school i really dont know what to do. HAHA. hey it rhymes.

A WOMAN NEEDS A MAN LIKE WHO A FISH NEEDS A BICYCLE
hurhur

9:17 AM

20070121

oreos

(:
you know, its different.
its different when i talk to yahlan
its different when i talk to huizhen
its different when i talk to desmond
its different when i talk to cecilia
its different when i talk to weeyang
cause after conversations with them, i just want to be back with Him all the time. and i end up knowing that i have had a good conversation. and that i have been blessed. and i always fall in love with Him after talking to them.
i want to be like them.
(;

anyway ive been blessed EXTREMELY.
seriously i need to run a charity organisation for my financial statement haha.

gifts from huizhen!

gift from celia, which she said "you have lost your joy, now dont lose it again"

went for makeup melvin's cg today, and was encouraged.
[:
"you cant do anything if you are behind, you got to be forefront, in front"
so this year, i will do whatever it takes to excel in all the areas of my life.
JIAN FEI AH JIAN FEI
hawhaw
well, apart from that.. itll be vb + sch.

BEAUTY FOR ASHES,
JOY INSTEAD OF MOURNING,
PRAISE INSTEAD OF DESPAIR.

t,b,j,c&a.
i am going to be 6times stronger for the 5 of you.

*
if ever you happen to come across this;
thanks for appearing again. it feels really good to have you back in my life. ive missed you! well altho thats the last thing youll feel about me HAHA.

3:51 AM

20070118

so, when does the heart come in?

"men tend to fall in love with their eyes and women tend to fall in love with their ears"
HMM. how true.
hahah.
taken off from gary's friendster, hes not a himbo after all ey hawhaw
(;

10:09 PM

20070117

i wish you were here so i can tell eme my dream can come tru

thurdays are days i dream of you.
thursdays(;

dara sent me some really nice songs today and im so digging into it :D shes been such a darling la heh.
okay im over you and now i am moving on. hur.
theres this new course at tp for the next intake. veterinary technology. what i have been dreaming of for the past 19 years of my life. shld i or should i not? hmmm. ou

i miss america.

11:55 PM

20070113

dont call me baby

hello joy,hui&rena:D
these 3girls suddenly appear in my life. hawhaw and i love them muchly. joy hui + i bought the same pair of earstuds. and we are so going to get another pair for rena and she is going to wear it for us! hawhaw. arent they prettttty(:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIII + CAYLIN.

siii: i think * means alot to you ah
jns:yeh, i think he does.
(:
I LOVE MY DJS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

ystd the pastries finally met up with each other to celebrate caylins bday. we bought her a meal, balloon, a card and a guess wallet (: and it was just nice fine and warm everyone was being genuine i guess thats what make things fine. no shame no game baby.

*
its not funny when a man can call you loves. and you happen to be, well not only the one (:

12:58 PM

20070107

fat people

dont look for the answers, look for the love.
so many times we try asking why this and why that. why dont we just stop looking for answers, and look for the love. even if there isnt anymore, i promise you now that you have mine.

the first time i cried in year 2006 was because you called me on the phone in the night, cause you were drunk and was upset about that issue.
so i cried with you.
and you promised me that whatever happens youre not going to leave.
the first time i cried in year 2007 was because you left.

7:19 PM

20070102

united states of america

helloooo i am home(;
and being jet lag is no fun. you get soo darn awake in the middle of the night and so darn sleepy in the afternoon bluek i guess that explains why i woke up at 7am this morning hah. and that would be 3pm in the aftn over in the states bwhaha.
ANYWAY, i had alot of fun. and a heck of a good experience for my case i guess travelling around the world to see things really does me good. im going to save! well of course building fund comes first.

day1: los angeles
it was a free and easy day. and there was carls jr opposite the hotel. i was so looking forward to the beef chilli cheese fries but they dont sell it there! ): dinner, chinese food was tasteless haha

day2: los angeles, disneyland
the happiest place on earth. it was a dream come true(: fireworks was amazing.

day3: los angeles, universal studios. hollywood.
this place is where all the shows are being shot and the backgrounds and props that were being used, the best part was that i got to see the exact place where jennifer love hewit in ghost whisperers' park where she always walked at! and the town of desperate housewives! haha all the houses are fake. and they actually have the entire street in universal studios. heh
and they brought us to the place where you see the real "hollywood" sign the white words based on the mountain? heh that is it

day4: laughlin
kind of a travelling day really peaceful town where i stole some christmas corns from the trees haha.

day5: nedeva, grandcanyon. las vegas
one of the 7wonders in the world. i was then and there reminded of how amazing God is the formation of the rocks that made it all so lovely(: the city tour at las vegas was really nice. i felt that i was in the shows or something. sin city they call it. bright lights and casinos!

day6: las vegas. hooverdam
SHOPPINGDAY. haha everything is so cheap as compared to the prices in singapore that is. AX, fcuk, levis etc. mom and jo bought like 5coach bags and i got a mini pouch from there too hawhaw
He has been faithful, for He has blessed me(:

day7: san francisco
this is my favourite state in america. everything is just so nice and fine and lovely and beautiful. well except for the fact that during the nights, you see the homeless blacks along the streets asking for money and REAL PUNKS. haha its pretty cool but kinda freaky if youre walking alone.
nonetheless i like sanfrans. an arts state with nice streets.. (:

day8: san francisco. 17miledrive + carmel
shopping day again this time it is victoria secrets haha so sexy and girlie hawhaw nicenice! the shops of hollister and abercrombie and fitch was so cool.
and the town to carmel during the day tour was so so fine i think i want to stay there a night if i have a chance in future where you drink tea and read your book along the streets and you walk your dog down the roads(:

yehh.. and spent 2whole days travelling thank God for krisworld bwhaha. well, it felt really like a dream and now im sitting on my chair, its back to reality isnt it (: i had my countdown special this year, in the air flying somewhere. so this year is going to be different. and i am looking forward to it! 2007, HELLO.
ill upload the pics in my next entry(:

all trees in san francisco belongs to janis

7:55 AM