20060630
aiya. dont care alr la.
):*and i miss that voice.rah. dont say byebye to me please. ):*and everyone dreams of dying. dont die, cause he once loved me. he was so nice i can almost die.-bless huizhen for her courage and fearless nature. let me have it too, Lord.
12:37 PM
20060628
im am greatly blessed during bible study today.(:pastor audrey taught about the gift of wisdom and prophecy. at the end of the lesson, she asked the class to turn to our neighbours and start hearing from God about the person's life and start praying for him/her in the respective areas. i almost died seriously. haha. i was quite afraid that i might not be able to make it. well. its all about a step of faith, right?okie. the the greatest thing was, this guy around his early twenties paired up with me. we started praying. and, he started speaking, he said "without faith it was impossible to please God." and went on by encouraging me. encouraging me, at the right spot in my heart.about fear. its like, the Holy spirit, came. so gently once again. and i cried like as though there was no tomorrow. you know, i hate crying when im sad, but i love cry in God. (:after everything ended, my eyes were like RED that i thought he got the shock of his life. well. i was really blessed and very encouraged. its the first time, that someone whom i have not spoken to before nor met before could speak the exact words about issues that i have been going through. oh God, please bless the brother who sat next to me during BS today and whom prayed over my life.
9:45 PM
(:having enterprise now. and julia philip is ill, so the relieve teacher is here.*anyways, had training yester! after a loong looong time. but i had fun, alot of fun honestly. i became a setter!!! haha. dont ask me why. i was like having the shock of my life la can. heh. firstly, i was supposed to set for the team to spike, so i was like "okkaaaaay"... and i was quite horrible about it, forever using underarm. hawhaw. okies, whats next was that coach trained formation for the team, and i was the setter for the opposing team. haha. i dont know, but i did had alot of fun and it was hilarious being a setter, just like my darling ah na, hawhaw. next, i think ill prolly be the libero just like my darling debster. hehe. (: but i thank God for His grace la, honestly. that altho being placed in the position ive not stepped in EVER BEFORE in my entire 5years i still did fairly okays. thanks for the encrouagement guys. (: *beams* i think, its moving up another level from here. *to my nasi goreng, kacang puteh, ice milo, muah chee, tao suan, char siew bao, mee sua, goreng pisang WONG...... haha. youre just an amazing friend la seriously. i dont know what to do without you in class or in training la! (: haha. i look up to you girl.and also to da ge! whom i think im beginning to find a friend in! it just feels nice sitting around with you doing RJ. and talking about anything under the sun, from your home rental, landlord to girls catching their boyfriends looking at other girls whilst boys cant catch their girlfriends. hawhaw. (: aiyo. u nice friend la you. happy 21st again boy.hello fatty. i fatfat you. haha. okie la. better get going. everyone like so heh today like that. hawhaw. rissas doing some nail art, da ge reading fhm... hawhaw. okie. TIMES some gta-ing and dota-ing. heh. oh well! till then! (:My spirit is bigger and stronger.
9:31 AM
20060627
the devil will not win. i will win. i will fight for them, all that it takes. i will do everything.i will fight for them until the very end.*I AM NOT DISCOURAGED, I AM DISATISFIED!!!!
12:00 AM
20060625
praise the Lord!
(:for the salvations. im really believing that heaven is having some major celebration now. *i was really blessed during service today. pastor kong talked about how great your potential would be. He said, the Holy spirit is potential, thats why He places in you dreams and visions which you think you may never can achieve. which may seem impossible, but actually, thats when your potential is released. and youll find yourself being able to achieve all these things, im really blessed. we always dream of doing big things, for our lives, for God and sometimes feel discouraged because it seems too big. but, you know, i really feel that you dont just have these dreams and visions for nothing? you have them because you have the potential in you to make it come to past. another thing pastor kong spoke, discouragements are meant to stir you up.and im really blessed by my friend desmond too(:its amazing how God works and whom He puts into your life to stir you up. i felt God in our conversation. and thought to myself, this friends' made in heaven. like what the cg message was about, friends that pull you up and edify you :D THANK YOU, for all your encouragements (: *i was just talking to farty whom is also known as aaron. and he was like doing some personality test on me. about what animal and stuff. and it was about horse la. and, haha. i suddenly remember a few years back, the first time i was riding a horse, an old horse named gregory. it was beautiful. the feeling was beautifully amazing. (: horses are beautiful.*heh. celia's cat chewy is sooo FAT and sooo CUTE. (: seriously ah! heh. anyways, after fellowship on sat, ivy,yx,robin and i went to celia's house. i would say, it had made my day. to just sit around and talk to them. cecilia,ivy,yixing and robin... thank you for the thumbprints in my heart! (:get well soon weewee and jessie, sneezing no more. coming home to a fat rabbit, dusty sure feels good too. *i like you(:
9:10 PM
20060623
im in class now. and its VB computing lessons again.RAHH! today everyone in class like so heh like that. haha. i got a feeling im going to play gta for the whole time today la. haha. lappie needs come cleaning, to remove all the stuff thats causes the slowness of it all. fatfats right man, CHECK OUT THE LAG. went down to watch the girls train ystd and was really motivated by what shu hui told me when she sat beside me (: byebye nippon JFA. i already had my one moment of grieve for the team. never mind, we'll strive harder in the next worldcup. :Dtill then!*GO WHERE. GO PUNGGOL AH.
9:09 AM
20060622
For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these,
'It might have been.'
for all the things that you can say or write, the saddest are to the person "you might have been, the one"
-love from johnson.
11:38 AM
20060621
firstly. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENJAMIN CHEW JUN LONG. my aiai(:sigh. i miss you la. i hope youre having a really awesome awesome 19th birthday this year. its been ages since i last saw your face! well, its been about 3years since we knew each other, and how we know each other has been quite weird. haha. all the parties we crashed and you would come talk to me. well. you always belogned to the cool, funky, everyone adores group, but yet in school you would never fail to smile, say hi or wink at me. HAWHAW. may this year ahead be the greatest one so far. youre the darling la ben. youve been an awesome friend despite not talking to you for so long. i wish to eat milo powder with you once again, and talk to you until super late. RAH. i miss you buddy.*okie. 2 heart warming things happened two days ago. i was on my way to school, extremely tired and taking the escalator down and there was this guy from RP taking the escalator down as well and he was really close infront of my cause it was eally crowded. and he suddenly took out his handphone to check if he had any msges(i think). and guess what. hes phones wallpaper was his hamster!! ahh. haha! i thought it was really really cute la! i mean, i can understand the whole girlie thing. but a guy. haha! so cute la. omg. okieokie. next. it was raining so instead of walking to school, i went to take the bus instead. so, need to take the escalator down to the bus interchange, and there was this guy standing behind me. this guy about my age la. and he picked up his cell phone, and said "hello dear ah". and, i was thinking do all dating people call their girlfriends and boyfriends dear ah just like that. haha! i thought it was damn cute la seriously. like as if theyre married alr. haha! okie. i sound like a noob about relationships. but like so heard warming dont you know. haha. *(: i think i had a good day today. except the constant suanings. going to study for maths UT alr. GRR. btw. thanks da ge for the notes u have sent me. very appreciative of you. goodnights.
10:25 PM
20060619
im back to school again. haha. feels quite nice, but. im missing my holidays, seriously. especially the long sleeps! rah. was like almost dying in the bus and train la. haha, until fei called. so nice to welcome me back to sch. no wait, more like. suaning me back to school la. hawhaw.and wee to infrom me of the good news of 90 now. 30 no more. haha. i guess these made my day.*tmr got UT. tmr got training. tmr got write republic meeting. tmr got communication class. tmr janis will explode. ): sigh. i hope tmr will be fast fast fast! :Dgoodnights everyone.
10:39 PM
20060618
monthly aunty has been very unfair to me. when im stressed she doesnt visit me and when im holidaying, happy and fine, she comes and makes me an emo girl.
like what she did to van.
van msged me this today.
"hey, you know i thought of you when i saw my pad cause its green in colour". and i smiled the longest smile. when i was young, around my puberty age, my girlfriends all told me that the people whom youre close with would have their auntys coming at the same day, or near. and, my aunty came only after 2months cause of the stress ive been having trying to adapt to sch and handling everything. and when it came, van msged me this.
yes, i smiled the longest smile.
BECAUSE VAN, EMO AUNTY HAS TAKEN OVER US.
and i replied her msg, i said, then i wish you had aunty coming everyday of your life so that youll rmb me. hawhaw.
well. thats not the point. the point is, the dry bone of this friendship has revived part of it, somehow. im glad shes doing great, im proud shes moving on, im happy shes refreshed. and seeing her this way, made me smile on the inside. and that matters most as compared to an outward smile isnt it.
the love from van, tuesdays with morrie."Without love, we are birds with broken wings."today is by right already sunday, which means im starting school on monday.
groan.
i somehow, wanna start school and somehow dont wanna. i wanna sleep at 3am and wake up at 1045 everyday. haha. but im excited to see my class again tho. last sem together. ):
and thought, i have already let go of some friendships which may have seen to last forever, some ill always and forever keep, some i wanna make, and some i want to restart again.
ben: im feeding on you like a parasite and i miss eating milo powder with you.
melanie: and i loved you since the age of 12yrs too. im really happy that we are beginning to talk all over again.
last but not least...
aaron, my faithful friend.
i fatfat you.
1:59 AM
20060616
aiya. i am mood swinging. ):everyone loves me after theyve finished loving someone else. haha. oh yes, i am mood swinging. gosh. *where'd you goi missed you so*oh God.and i thought about him once again upon a time. RAHHH. ROARRR.HORRRH.okie. im feeling better already.aunty aunty go away, go away.LORD, please. please touch me. please... i dont want to be a desert. i want to be like a river. i dont want to be dry. please, let the dry bones revive once again.
),,:
11:52 PM
20060615
the woman who fought with me when i was young.
-who threw the red colour metal chair at me when we fought.
the woman who always had to give way to me when i was young.
-power rangers and keychains aunty janet would buy.
the woman who told me that i didnt have to kneel down infront of the sun and clasp my hands together to pray.
-all i had to do was just lock both my hands.
the woman who told me not to be scared.
-when we had to climb the glacier in new zealand.
the woman who runs away with me.
-when we had cockroaches in our room, and yes. poor dad would come running in, saving his two darling daughters.
the woman who sings me to sleep
-the golden pillow song, yes. im weird. hawhaw.
the woman who was there when i was scared
-when i couldnt sleep in the night this period of time.
the woman who talks rules and deals with me
-how many times i could sleep on your bed cause it was higher up there.
the woman who plays with me
-when we couldnt sleep, we could play the pyramid game or make our toys talk.
the woman who serves me with her heart
-when she drives me tirelessly around singapore just to make sure i get there on time.
the woman who drives me mad
- the pms-es and not wanting to help me do stuff
the woman who checks out guys with me
-at rogue's. tcc. (: hawhaw.
the woman who laughs at my jokes
-sigh. still loving my muah chee joke
the woman who was there when i really someone
-to check my olevel results last year, when u were at cp's coldstorage.
the woman who teaches me
-maths. even though she herself has got exams herself, i did it. b3(:
the woman for who she is
-who loves me because of me.
the woman, leong yin yu joann. (: my beloved ga jie. who really gives and gives me and has always been my confident, and, when nobody really want to hear the details of my life, she would hear me out. just by listening to me talk. and somehow, i know, she's listening. who wants to do what i have done today, genuinely, its jo!
sigh.
i seriously dont know what to do without you.
i think im going to be happy yet, really awfully sad when u get married one fine day.
I LOVE YOU GA JIE(:
11:29 PM
20060614
i love volleyball alot.
was a totally dead-head today before i went for training, but i told myself, im not going to submit to it. trainings only once a week, so everything has to be times 2. and i made it.
felt that i really did my best today, and i really gave my 100%.
felt very much like the secondary school days. (:
i wished every training was like this. even if i didnt perform well, but i have given my best in all aspects.
thats a more desirable and worthy of the time isnt it.
after training, dad didnt pick me up, wanted to go back by myself. and realised that siii was still in phs. so, i called her, went to find her while the others headed for home alr. and we ended up going to the hawker centre behind to eat.
aiyooo, like so lovely like that. i really like spending time with my bestfriend. (: we talked about just about anything. thats the beauty about your bestfriends, you can just talk about anything and everything. as in seriously, anything and everything, and u can just be who you are when around with them.
a season, a reason or a lifetime.
and i assuredly say, sihui is my friend for a lifetime. i love you. i really really do, with all my heart. youre one of my life's greatest blessings.
both sihui and debbie.
a part of me they'll stay (:
12:03 AM
20060613
T'WAS A BAD PLAY.wah, angry! japan lost to australia. 3:1, can u imagine, i almost died in simpang bedok just now. lol and, its australia's first time to score a goal in the whole of their entire history. okie, more like 3 goals in the last 7mins. WHERES THE DEFENSE. goodness. inamoto was not playing. nakata and nakamura 2men show, ono came in last 20mins. wah. NIPPON GOAL PLS.
12:46 AM
20060609
okie. just a random thought. im not exactly clubbing material, so the chances of me bumping or having people around me drunk are minimal. so that explains my innocencity. hawhaw. just kidding.well. i feel, people drunk are truely who they really are. deeep deeep down.say, there are those who after drunk, get freakingly emo, sad and cry alot right. whilst there are those, who laugh alot. and who are really happy. okie. this is not scienctifically proven, but thats how i feel tho. my heart really feels for them. goes all the way out. especially those who cry. a friend of mine got "high" recently. and, he just started to pour out his feelings. the things that hurt him, and the issues that he has been struggling with. and its like, not knowing. normally when we talk or meet, he'll just be doing his thing, ill occasionally go disturb him, laugh it off and when walking together, wont say a thing about his woes. but, when the mask is out. he doesnt have to put up a front of me,us anymore. and just be who he really is. my monster seemed happy go lucky too, disturbing me like crazy. but when it gets over, what actually is deep inside his heart. the scars? sigh. well, although monsters really doing well alr. so, im all good about him now. (:its not like, being drunk or high is all good, but, sometimes. it just sort of relieves you for a few hours. but still, at the end of the day. its still there, unless we decide to solve it. *
in my heart. i know those whom i really care for and love.
in my heart, those are those whom cry, and i would cry along with them. not because i understand totally what theyre feeling, but i cry too because it has hurt them, deep down.
oh God, i really really miss tricia.
11:41 AM
20060608
holidays hoenstly dont feel like holidays. alrights, apart from emerge over the weekends, im seriously dying of the so-many-things to do. except now. and i just woke up, so im also half dead. haha. slept at 11am and woke up at 4pm. emerge was extravagant it was really times10 from the past emerges. the people the atmosphere the whole thing. but, its quite a shame this year, dont feel like theres much queueing up to do with the cell. is it true, that when you want is so so so badly, it just doesnt come to you? really glad, came in third for captains ball. (: on monday, i woke up late because i was very tired over the past weeks events, and had match with PHS in the night. yeh. didnt do well this time and the whole team was like really very upset. and, sihui cried because of how much she has given out for the team but yet receive nth in return. seeing her cry just makes me cry. later that night, siii called for a meeting with the whole team, both she and rena begun sharing what they felt about certain issues in the team. and asked everyone to share what they felt? wah. i didnt see myself to be this emotional as well, i really felt no connection, no bonding at all. so i spoke about that. and haha. emo janis comes along. well, im just glad that everyone knows the heart desires alr. went for fellowship with the girls and some boys. (: regina, mel,mad, xiao gary and nigel's really nice people. (:san jie got married on tues, and was out for the whole day since early morning. although is was tiring, but i guess its all worth it eh. (: she really was so pretty. heh. yay. now theres two less lonely people in the world. love weddings. ystd was w16f's class bbq. haha. so funny. i really thank the Lord for this class honestly. (: who are really bonded and stuff. met minks,cheryl,johnson,wong,spenc and tok at parkway to do some last minute shopping. haha. it was really fun. bbq was good. attendance was relatively good tho. haha. its been a long time since i last had a bbq. da ge, joyci, spence, wong, rissa, faiz, hyder, naz and myself tonned for the night. and all because of our dear spence's absolute, da ge and hyder literally went "funny". haha. it was really hilarious. and hyder was so dead that he allowed me to bite his arm. being "drunk" or "high" sure doesnt make any sense. i like rissa alot too. (: shes truely a darling. shared with me her stuff her and there, and i feel closer to her in one way now. wong kicked ass too. haha. shes my confident. love you babe. you make my life in rp fun man, seriously. cells later, oh ya. did i mention the multiplication? im with wee,aaron,angeline,jessie,pam,ivy,celia,yixing,robin,jingjie&jitmin:D yeh. its all good. all good.for that strength i never knew i needed.
4:16 PM
T'WAS A BAD PLAY.